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The Last Drive​-​In with Joe Bob Briggs (Original Series Soundtrack LP, Vol. 1)

by John Brennan

/
1.
Hey everybody have you heard the news? Joe Bob is back in town He’s over at the drive-in hangin' around, Watching crazy movies so come on down to Joe Bob’s Last Drive-In show Blood, beasties, boobies and mo' Joe Bob’s Last Drive-In show Its a spooky marathon with monsters and ghosts Crazy, kooky fun with the world’s greatest host (yeah!) Joe Bob’s Last Drive-In show (Its gonna be legendary!) Joe Bob’s Last Drive-In show (Its gonna be very scary!) Joe Bob’s Last Drive-In show Let's go!
2.
We are drive-in mutants We are not like other people We are sick Disgusting We believe in Blood and breasts and beasts If life had a vomit meter We'd be off the scale As long as one drive-in remains On the planet Earth We will party like jungle animals We will boogie 'til we puke The drive-in will never die
3.
Hey Travis Crabtree Wait a minute for me Let's go back to the bottoms Back where the fish are biting Where all the world's inviting And nobody sees The flowers bloom but me Hey Travis Crabtree Do you see what I see On the gentle winds of morning A million birds are singing Like the bells of heaven ringing And nobody sees The flowers bloom but me
4.
Lore of the campfire Telling of his horror Lost in the woods With the madman And the stars Don't laugh at the tale Heed if you call him The legend lives Beware the Madman Marz
5.
Hello Mary Lou It's Prom Night Two All I wanna do Is dance with you Oh doo wop doo wop Shoo doo wop doo wop Oh doo bop doo bop Shoo doo Shoo doo I-aye-aye-aye I don't know Flippy dippy dough And a dosey doe Oh-woah-woah-woah Aye-aye-aye Shimmy dimmy dip And shmao di-bye Come on, Mary Lou It's Prom Night Two All I wanna do is dance with you I said you got a nice dress But your hair's a mess And now that poor Vicki girl Is so possessed Oh, flippy dippy dippy dippy Doopy dippy doopy dippy Dow Oh doo wop doo wop Shoo doo wop doo wop Oh doo bop doo bop Shoo doo Shoo doo I-aye-aye-aye I don't know Flippy dippy doo And doe ba dodo Oh-woah-woah-woah Shmao, shmao, shmao Flippy dippy dip And meow, meow, meow Come on, Mary Lou It's Prom Night Two All I wanna do is dance with you I said you got a nice dress But your hair's a mess And now that poor Vicki girl Is so possessed Come on, Mary Lou It's Prom Night Two All I wanna do is dance with you I said you've got nice breasts But your face is a mess And now that poor Vicki girl Is so possessed Oh, flippy dippy dippy dippy Doopy dippy doopy dippy Dow Honey, this is the talkin verse in this song Where I tell you that I'll love you My whole life long Darling, the prom was a magical day You're my girl And it'll always be that way Before we say farewell On this magical night We'll go to the diner and give 'em a fright And then when it's time to say adieu I'm the luckiest man Because I got to dance with you Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya!
6.
I don't need no tinsel You can keep that Christmas tree The night is so damn silent Except for all the screams The only snow I'm seein’ Is the static on TV This year It's the VCR and me I'm settling in For a Lonely Red Christmas The only color that makes me whole It's another Red Christmas And I'm All alone The only Yule I've ever known See those shadows dancin' My only company The movie credits roll now As I drift off to sleep The only sound I'm hearin’ Is a cricket symphony This year It's the VCR and me I'm settling in For a Lonely Red Christmas The only color that makes me whole It's another Red Christmas And I'm All alone The only Yule I'll ever know Next year might be different I don't know
7.
I'm a Bloodsucking Freak When I'm out in the streets When I'm in between the sheets I'll make you weak in the knees And then I'll feed you some head cheese What do they call me? You're a Bloodsucking Freak My rigatoni Is very unique What do they call me? You're a Bloodsucking Freak A Bloodsucking Freak I'm a Bloodsucking Freak With an air of mystique Don't sweat the technique You're gonna love my physique And then I'll feed you more head cheese What do they call me? You're a Bloodsucking Freak My rigatoni Is very unique What do they call me? You're a Bloodsucking Freak A Bloodsucking Freak If you would be my boo Then I will be your freaky Sardu Oh yeah! What do they call me? You're a Bloodsucking Freak My rigatoni Is very unique What do they call me? You're a Bloodsucking Freak A Bloodsucking Freak
8.
9.
We are drive-in mutants We are not like other people We are sick Disgusting We believe in Blood, breasts and beasts If life had a vomit meter We'd be off the scale As long as one drive-in remains On the planet Earth We will party like jungle animals We will boogie 'til we puke The drive-in will never die Amen!
10.
11.
Come one, come all As the darkness falls Joe Bob is at it again Slashers and ghouls And the werewolves, too They're all hanging over By the drive-in Surprise! The dead will rise Oh my! The lightning strikes Beware! It's in the air Movies are so much Better with friends The world's greatest show Is about to begin So come on! (Get ready) Joe Bob is at it again (Very scary) Going back to the drive-in
12.
Woke up this morning I got the Frogtown blues Yeah without warning There's uranium in my shoes I'm down in hell Oh well My sperm count in chartreuse Woke up this evening I paid my drive-in dues The frogs keep screaming While they barter and schmooze What's that you say The buffet? Eatin' flies is old news Sam Hell! Woke up this morning I got the Frogtown blues I'm down in hell Might as well Protect my family jewels
13.
There is a house among the trees Where werewolves howl, and evil breeds A cozy home of wicked deeds We call it Halloween Hideaway - ole! A dark soirée where shadows dance You bet your life, a game of chance A goblin’s kiss, a doomed romance There’s no leaving Halloween Hideaway - ole! Impending doom Upon a flying witch's broom A graveyard filled With zombies rising from the tomb
14.
There is a dark secluded place Where crews go "poof" without a trace The host can find no breathing space It's called New Jersey Hideaway - ole! They said we shouldn't do a show They're wearing masks in Buffalo This year you should the day forego But no, we'll call it Hideaway - ole! All the other shows are on hiatus Don't you know We were just too eager To engage a studio But the season's gremlins Soon reminded us of this If you go there You must beware Deranged impalers can't resist And now we meet our reckoning The ghouls are strangely beckoning The charnel house is echoing We had our brainless Hideaway - ole!
15.
Halloween Hideaway Where the ghouls and the goblins play Halloween Hideaway Where the witches and the werewolves sway An eerie glow A UFO A severed toe It's apropos A chilly breeze Through willow trees Do not displease Bella Lugosi Halloween Hideaway Where the ghouls and the goblins play Halloween Hideaway Where the witches and the werewolves sway
16.
17.
18.
Spookies Rap 02:19
We got a guy named Duke And a pupped named Mook Happy birthday Billy Here's a bunch of balloons You're gonna be buried alive Very soon By a cat boy in a gold vest It's confusing Who's this older guy In a gray suit Hanging out with teens It's inexplicable And who's this older guy Up in the attic Talking to a princess Starting some static He seems to like chess Does he own the mansion? But we're not offered any plot expansion Here comes a ouija board Yuki, what's a Spookie? I have no idea what's going on in this movie! Hey we're watching Spookies It's a very confusing movie So is the ouija board or the guy in the attic responsible for waking up the Spookies? I don't know! Yo! I'm a Spookie and I'm here to say I'm really really spooky in a major way You're talking trash about the plot Is that all you got? The Street Trash director Was our steady cam op (Jim Muro) The only thing we need are Spookie thrills So sit back, relax and take a chill pill Or drown out your sorrows in alcohol While we lay out this very super Spookie roll call: Spider Spookie Child Spookie Grim Reaper Spookie All of these Spookies Fartin' Spookies Keep Fartin' Spookies Yuki Spookie I'm not a Spookie! Hey we're watching Spookies It's a very confusing movie
19.
Chili Bandit Chili Nom Nom Put it in your belly Chili Bandit Chili It'll change your life Yeah, that's right!
20.
You got yourself in a tailspin Going round, going down You got yourself in a tailspin Since you took your life downtown You're thinking that things Are gonna change Hasn't happened yet But it should feel strange Being on your own With the move of things Don't you know That things remain the same You got yourself in a tailspin Going round, going down You got yourself in a tailspin Since you took your life downtown You're taking every kinda pill To make you high Playing with the other guys Will leave you dry Then you call me up And you start to cry Never understand How and why You got yourself in a tailspin Going round, going down You got yourself in a tailspin Since you took your life downtown
21.
You were the Ice Cream Man And an alien on Star Trek You stole the show in Parenthood And Pauly Shore is Dead You rocked in Rock 'n' Roll High School You played a tourist in Leprechaun 2 Your name was Slinky in Tango and Cash And you were Ricco in Backdraft We all love you You're the best A legendary actor With great success Clint Howard We thank you for being here On The Last Drive-In Clint Howard We celebrate your career And know you'll keep thriving For everything that you do We just want to thank you For being you You were brilliant in Evil Speak So stellar in Apollo 13 Houston we have no problem Anytime you're on the screen We all love you You're the best A legendary actor With great success Clint Howard We thank you for being here On The Last Drive-In Clint Howard We celebrate your career And know you'll keep thriving Clint Howard We wanna thank you boy Singin' Sha na na na Sha na na na Sha na na na na na Clint Howard For everything that you do We just want to thank you For being you
22.
Monster Mash 03:08
I was working in the trailer Late one night When my eyes beheld An eerie sight For my dragon from his tank Began to rise And suddenly to my surprise (He did the mash) He did the monster mash (The monster mash) It was a graveyard smash (He did the mash) It caught on in a flash (The monster mash) He did the monster mash From my body shop In the truck stop east To the cheap motel Where the vampires feast The mutants all came From their humble abodes To get a jolt From my electrodes (He did the mash) He did the monster mash (The monster mash) It was a graveyard smash (He did the mash) It caught on in a flash (The monster mash) He did the monster mash Zombies were having fun The party had just begun The guests included Tall Man Angela and their son The scene was rockin' All were diggin' the sounds Darcy on chains Backed by baying hounds Brennan and the Bigfeet Were set to arrive With their group The Crypt-Kicker Five (They played the mash) They played the monster mash (The monster mash) It was a graveyard smash (They played the mash) It caught on in a flash (The monster mash) They played the monster mash Out from his coffin Yuki's voice did ring Seems he was Troubled By just one thing He opened the lid And shook his fist and said Whatever happened To my Tokyo twist (It's now the mash) It's the monster mash (The monster mash) It's a graveyard smash (It's now the mash) It caught on in a flash (The monster mash) It's now the monster mash Everything's cool Yuki's part of the band And my monster mash Is the hit of the land For you, the mutants We call it mash-fu Get to my door And tell 'em Joe Bob sent you (Then you can mash) It's the monster mash (The monster mash) And it's a graveyard smash (Then you can mash) It caught on in a flash (The monster mash) It's the monster mash Darcy Take off the Silver Shamrock mask Now

about

The Last Drive​-​In with Joe Bob Briggs (Original Series Soundtrack LP)

Featuring all of your favorite songs from seasons one through three of #TheLastDriveIn

Artwork by Justin Osbourn: www.slasherdesign.com

Original Vinyl Release by Ship to Shore Phono Co.: shiptoshoremedia.com

Side A
1. Joe Bob is Back in Town
2. The Drive-In Oath (Punk Version)
3. Nobody Sees the Flowers But Me (Hey, Travis Crabtree)
4. Song of Madman Marz
5. Come On, Mary Lou (It's Prom Night II)
6. Lonely Red Christmas
7. Bloodsucking Freak (Feat. Chris Jericho)
8. Lizard of Industry
9. The Drive-In Oath (Remix)
10. Joe Bob is Back in Town (Acoustic Version)

Side B
1. Joe Bob Is At It Again (Alternate Theme Song Demo)
2. Frogtown Blues
3. Halloween Hideaway (Part I)
4. Halloween Hideaway (Part II)
5. Halloween Hideaway (Part III)
6. Darcy the 13th
7. Joe Bob is Back in Town, Charlie Brown
8. Spookies Rap
9. Chili Bandit Jingle
10. You Got Yourself in a Tailspin
11. Clint Howard (Thank You) [feat. Anointed Friends]

credits

released October 18, 2021

Written, Produced & Performed by John Brennan

With
Joe Bob Briggs (Lead Vocals: Tracks 3, 4, 10, 12, 14, 22, Talkin' Verse: Track 5, Lyrics: Tracks 9, 10, 14)
Levi White (Lead Guitars: Track 1, Arranger & Performer: Track 10, Guitar Solos: Track 7)
Jimmy Adamson (Drums: Track 1, 11)
Gerry Marletta (Bass: Track 1)
Peter Sellars (Violin: Track 1)
Wayne Silver (Organs & Slide Guitar: Track 1)
Austin Jennings (Lyrics: Track 6, Co-Lyrics: Track 13)
Chris Jericho (Lead Vocals: Track 7)
AnointedFriends.com (Vocals: Track 10)
Darcy the Mail Girl (Additional Vocals: Tracks 21, 22)
Yuki Nakamura (Additional Vocals: Tracks 21, 22)

*Track 3
"Nobody Sees the Flowers But Me"
Words by Earl E. Smith
Music by Jaime Mendoza-Nava

*Track 4
"Song of Madman Marz"
Written by Gary Sales

*Track 20
"You Got Yourself in a Tailspin"
Written by Familiar Strangers

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John Brennan Queens, New York

Experiments in the Key of Brennan

"My Rigatoni is Very Unique"

#TheLastDriveIn

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