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Joe Bob's Red Christmas Sdtk. {The Last Drive​-​In w/ Joe Bob Briggs}

by John Brennan

/
1.
Lonely Red Christmas I don't need no tinsel You can keep that Christmas tree The night is so damn silent Except for all the screams The only snow I'm seein’ Is the static on TV 'Cause this year It's the VCR and me I'm settling in For a Lonely Red Christmas The only color that makes me whole It's another Red Christmas And I'm All alone The only Yule I've ever known See those shadows dancin' My only company The movie credits roll now As I drift off to sleep The only sound I'm hearin’ Is a cricket symphony This year It's the VCR and me I'm settling in For a Lonely Red Christmas The only color that makes me whole It's another Red Christmas And I'm All alone The only Yule I'll ever know Next year might be different I don't know
2.
I don't want to celebrate the holidays Because every year it's all the same The parties are bad and that's the truth Your Grandma Ruth only has one tooth Your Uncle Bob is a great big slob And your Aunt Loraine, she's a major pain The food is stale and the drinks are weak Below the mistletoe I see a lecherous freak Forget about holiday cheer Joe Bob's drinking some Lone Star beer Fire up the VCR And host a movie marathon On this Merry Red Christmas I'd rather be alone Unplug my rotary phone Merry Red Christmas Turn off the schmaltzy music We'll all do a lot less pukin' Merry Red Christmas Forget your roasted turkey I'll stuff my face with beef jerky Merry Red Christmas Shut down the Polar Express And I bet you'll be a lot less depressed Merry Red Christmas All the malls are packed to the brim And 'Deck the Halls' gets under my skin Hell on Earth is a Santa Con Happy Days are now woebegone There's too much fightin' And there's too much fuss Corporate greed Replaced Baby Jesus So like Macaulay I'll be home alone This Christmas goose Has been picked to the bone Forget about holiday cheer Joe Bob's drinking some Lone Star beer And I don't care what you say 'River' by Joni Mitchell ain't a Christmas song No way! On this Merry Red Christmas I'd rather be alone Unplug my rotary phone Merry Red Christmas Turn off the schmaltzy music We'll all do a lot less pukin' Merry Red Christmas Forget your roasted turkey I'll stuff my face with beef jerky Merry Red Christmas Shut down the Polar Express And I bet you'll be a lot less depressed Merry Red Christmas
3.
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about

Songs from "Joe Bob's Red Christmas"
Original air date 12/13/19 on Shudder

Physical Media: Vinyl release by Ship to Shore Phono Co. shiptoshoremedia.com

Artwork by www.slasherdesign.com

credits

released December 13, 2019

Performed by Joe Bob Briggs & John Brennan

license

all rights reserved

tags

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