Get all 64 John Brennan releases available on Bandcamp and save 70%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of We're Getting the Fire Started {The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs}, The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs (Original Series Soundtrack LP, Vol. 2), Joe Bob's Jamboree '23 {The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs}, Joe Bob's Hell-O-Ween {The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs}, Spooky Halloween, Do the Angela {The Last Drive-In w/ Joe Bob Briggs}, See You on the Other Side {The Last Drive-In w/ Joe Bob Briggs}, Cheese for Charity {The Last Drive-In w/ Joe Bob Briggs}, and 56 more.
1. |
Calimocho Night
03:03
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it was a calimocho night we drank our pepsi with some red wine they’re served in pint glasses garnished with a lime start seeing double by the time I got to five we’re at an interesting age where all we crave is the bar I’m losing track of the days I may not go very far let’s hit the liquor store we all can fit in my car you know how lucky we are I’ll tell you life is bizarre it was a calimocho night cabo cantina does that happy hour right three ugly meatheads wanna start a fight Amanda blows that cigarette smoke way up into the sky we’re at an interesting age where all we crave is the bar I’m losing track of the days I may not go very far let’s hit the liquor store in danny fingers car you know how lucky we are I’ll tell you life is bizarre on calimocho night
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2. |
Living Stupid
03:35
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I can party with the best of you I can party like a goddamn animal hops and barley in the vestibule cake and acid in the third floor bathroom all I wanted was a slow dance Sadie Hawkins and the two-step make me laugh garlic kissing in a romance undercover kicking aggravation but I wanna get a rise out of you doing molly with the cunts and vegetables doing molly and the cocaine everyday don’t you know that I’m immune to fentanyl doing molly and the cocaine everyday I’ve been dreaming of the time that I would fall doing molly and the cocaine everyday I’ve been locked inside so long it’s a miracle doing molly and the cocaine everyday and every damn night on the telephone on the telephone man I can fuck like a barbarian take a nap and then I’ll do it all again stealing sugar from the candy man every weekend gonna ruin my lifespan all I wanted was some propane a little lighter and a free stand pelican walking fire through a gas main always looking for a new salvation yeah I wanna get a ride out of you doing molly with the cunts and vegetables doing molly and the cocaine everyday don’t you know that I’m immune to fentanyl doing molly and the cocaine everyday I’ve been dreaming of the time that I would fall doing molly and the cocaine everyday I’ve been locked inside so long it’s a miracle doing molly and the cocaine everyday and every damn night on the telephone on the telephone man what’s this boy talkin bout the telephone man explain it to him fuck yeah I’m living stupid
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3. |
Nowhere
02:35
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if I believe my friends 9 to 5 will get you nowhere nothing at all try to do my best I got to keep it going morbidly dumb so I forgot the lyrics then all my friends and all my fans will all be glad when I am dead I’ll write that song they’ll sing along forgotten trash it makes me sad every time I think about it if I believe my friends 9 to 5 will get you nowhere nothing at all let’s pass that test my final fear is throwing barrels of fun I lose my head but I believe in knowing so filled with dread my hearty beat is slowing born to be numb then all my friends and all my fans will all be glad when I am dead I’ll prove them right I’ll start tonight with pen and pipe by candle light I’ll write that song they’ll sing along forgotten trash it makes me sad every time I think about it
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4. |
Pantyhose
04:07
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disgusting you’re a halibut and you’re busted disturbing a filthy animal you’re worthless all day now you’re moving steadily to the hoosegow fat psycho grab a fruit cup or gelato you never fuck with the pantyhose where it stops no one knows balls deep centerfold criminal streak maladjusted never stop at the doo wop shop they get mad call the cops so what thanks a lot it’s been a long time been a long time now since I had to deal with an animal like you a fucking animal like you your momma getting freaky deaky drama say nah nah little baby needing your ba ba jump on it got a master and you flaunt it ok lights out before you get a punch in your big mouth you never fuck with the pantyhose where it stops no one knows balls deep centerfold criminal streak maladjusted never stop at the doo wop shop they get mad call the cops so what thanks a lot it’s been a long time been a long time now since I had to deal with an animal like you a fucking animal like you a scummy animal like you a dirty animal like you
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5. |
Build a Restaurant
03:51
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grab a piece of your heart take a stab in the dark try to be a man do what I can stay who I am what a family we are subdivided we fall try to stab my back do what I can stay who I am oh it only takes a bit of your soul to muster up a rigamarole the party planner’s drunk again couldn’t believe that you’re sinking so low follow the evil wherever you go so mad I built a restaurant they’re fucking psycho look at your family take care of my goal so sad I built a restaurant they’re fucking psycho look at your family take care of my goal feed the bottomless pit it’s surrounded with shit blame the working man do what I can stay who I am new clown same car it’s a pitiful fall you don’t give a damn do what I can stay who I am
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6. |
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what am I to do every time I’m playing poker dealer throws a joker and a useless deuce lost my shoes but I kept my boots no excuse to be paying my dues went downtown and I drove to Minnesota dream of South Dakota and a hangman’s noose sweet saloons with a pretty seniorita drink a margarita while I’m singing the blues my horse doesn’t mind you but I don’t like you at all I got you on the run with my gun cornered now your back’s to the wall but Betsy doesn’t mind you at all pack my bag and I put them on my saddle now I go to battle with the banditos sow my oats and I’m ready for the reason summer is the season to unload my ammo my horse doesn’t mind you but I don’t like you at all I got you on the run with my gun cornered now your back’s to the wall but Betsy doesn’t mind you at all
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7. |
Claptrap
03:02
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another bitter man is sitting at the door if he gon talk again I'll tell him where to go pick up your shit and kick the road another click you're fucking wack jack that's that there ain't no sentiment you know that's gonna flow don't need that cheesy shit I told you where to go forget the flippy dip and scratch another itch you're fuckin wack jack that's that don't be a bitter man you're talking claptrap and I won't speak again before my back slap you're sounding dumb again you're talking claptrap and I won't speak again before my back slap jack claptrap flap jack another douchey bag is thinking that he's dope turn up the thermostat the heat'll make him choke I want a better life the one you lead is shit you're fuckin wack jack that's that don't be a bitter man you're talkin clap trap and I won't speak again before my back slap you're sounding dumb again you're talkin claptrap and I wont speak again before my back slap jack claptrap flapjack you keep getting dumber like your brain is made of peanut butter stupid motherfucker I will pray that you end up a pauper don't be a bitter man you're talkin clap trap and I won't speak again before my back slap you're sounding dumb again you're talkin claptrap and I wont speak again before my back slap jack claptrap flapjack
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8. |
Shark on the Dance Floor
03:06
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you had a long day at work now you're tired as shit all you wanna do is stay at home and eat some chips but wifey wants the opposite and she's upset she's heading to the club with all her freaky friends and there's a shark on the dance floor he's a sharp toothed criminal he'll be mackin on your woman while you're chilling in bed you should have put on some clothes and hit the club instead she's gonna freaky deak she's getting nasty she's feeling hella free you must believe me I know that talk is cheap this crook is hungry he's gonna part the sea and feed there's a shark on the dance floor he's a sharp toothed criminal he'll be mackin on your woman while you're chilling in bed you should have put on some clothes and hit the club instead shark bite I'm a shark in the dark and the dance floor's hot watching the people give it all they got ooh your girl just caught my eye she knows how to move damn she's fly join her circle and I shake my ass that's right kid I can dance dance dance take her back to the VIP I make her laugh she drinks for free smooth she's into me I'm the man she wants the D easy it's a victory you're at home sippin tea my advice stay in bed cause when you do I get mad head think it's cruel what I said your marriage is dead I'm a shark on the dance floor he's a sharp toothed criminal he'll be mackin on your woman while you're chilling in bed you should have put on some clothes and hit the club instead shark bite
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9. |
Souped-up Mary
02:58
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souped-up souped-up Mary 17 when she popped her cherry 22 when she first got married now she's 30 hookin in an alley I met Mary in grammar school I always always thought she was really cool we shared snack time and we shared nap time throughout the years we got along just fine in 12th grade I asked her on a date she said yes and I felt real great she lost her virginity in my back seat the very next week she broke up with me come on souped-up souped-up Mary 17 when she popped her cherry 22 when she first got married now she's 30 hookin in an alley I met Mary in college in philosophy class we gained a lot of knowledge we were together for a couple of years times were good drinkin dollar beers on graduation day I got on bended knee and said hey there Mary would you marry me she said yes one year later in a white dress we had a lot of fun at the wedding reception a year after that we were getting divorced she took me for half yea of course I hear her name I get really mad she's the worst bitch that I ever had come on souped-up souped-up Mary 17 when she popped her cherry 22 when she first got married now she's 30 hookin in an alley I met Mary in an alley way suckin lots and lots of dicks for that crack cocaine took her to lunch and picked her brain she's smark as fuck I ascertained now she helps me run the streets squashing beef keeping the peace she's by my side and I'm so glad she's the best bitch that I ever met come on souped-up souped-up Mary 17 when she popped her cherry 22 when she first got married now she's 30 hookin in an alley
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10. |
I Found Heaven
02:29
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I found heaven in the pavement under my feet and all my pleasure comes from pain in spite of my leaving I found heaven in the pavement under my feet and all my pleasure comes from pain in spite of my leaving you hey now I wanted to be someone so proud and low down but oh wow you're forcing me to get off this planet don't be cruel and evil goddamnit you can have anything that you want misconstrued in a physical flaunt talk is cheap and nothing's true holy shit I'm in love with you but that don't mean you can step on my heart plain to see that we're falling apart talk is cheap and love is true now I gotta leave you goddamnit I found heaven in the pavement under my feet and all my pleasure comes from pain in spite of my leaving I found heaven in the pavement under my feet and all my pleasure comes from pain in spite of my leaving you
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11. |
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your mother took acid at a wedding reception she went really crazy and she ate all the cake now she's outside with the swans in the lake inviting her here was a major mistake she's with the DJ requesting tunes holy shit she just ate shrooms we're all doomed and the future's bleak I'm not looking forward to her psycho peak speech ...mommy can I have one cookie mommy... damn your momma's nuts she just took a bite out of the best man's tux damn your momma's crazy she's chasing the bride around and drinking gravy your mother took acid at a wedding reception and now she's stuck in another dimension ...mommy???,,,
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12. |
California Quicksand
04:57
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listen real close to the silence in the middle of a big heat wave never subscribe to violence because it puts you in a muddy grave I just wanna get back to Kansas hit the bar and bale some hay but ever since i started sinking I think this is where I'm gonna stay I got caught up in that California quicksand had trouble walkin and I started to sink in always get drunk with a wad of cast and never trust a six-toed gambling man oh no no no used to go to church on Sunday but I was the only one there now I'm hungover Monday thinkin that I'm better off dead Juniper's down on Main Street trying to make some bread sinkin since the early 80s so I listen to what she gotta say I got caught up in that California quicksand had trouble walkin and I started to sink in never trust a hooker with a heart of gold and never trust a pimp with a furry coat oh no no no never live a month in the barrio never meet anybody toe to toe forget the front sneak out the back door don't even worry cause she won't know oh no no no I got caught up in that California quicksand had trouble walkin and I started to sink in always run away from an angry spouse and never kiss a girl with a crooked mouth oh no no no never live a month in the barrio never meet anybody toe to toe forget the front sneak out the back door don't even worry cause she won't know oh no California quicksand
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John Brennan Queens, New York
Experiments in the Key of Brennan
"My Rigatoni is Very Unique"
#TheLastDriveIn
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